Yvonne’s Experience

During my first 12 years of valuable experience, I have experienced and observed many youths who gave up dreaming and striving for a life they desire, and gradually lose their sense of purpose or self-identity. In their growing-up years, they have grown to believe that they have no influence over their choices, concluding that there is no point in setting goals or having dreams. They often bear the thought that their path forward has already been or will eventually be dictated by what’s socially acceptable and socially defined to be successful both by their parents and the society-at-large. Youths, increasingly in numbers, are isolating themselves either by avoiding communication with people or putting on a fake image. On more extreme situations, these youths go into self-harm, depression or even have suicidal thoughts as a way of managing their discomfort, pain and struggles. Often, these acts of isolation tend to be triggered by beliefs like being “not good enough” or feeling nobody understands nor care for them or fearing of being a burden to others.

As an advocate of living life in a joyful and exciting manner that creates moving results, it hurts me to see family, friends or youths coming to me when they are already on the path of struggling with depression or engaging in self-harming acts. I believe that their emotional and mental health could have been given more attention, help and support in a proactive manner, and not reacting to the situation only when self-harm is already present. It worries me to see that on an average, 3 out of 60 leaders in a leadership program would open up to me about their struggles and darkness. This would mean that 5% of youths are suffering on their own, fearful, and uncertain about seeking help. The hurt and worry is deepened with sadness as I witness many youths putting up with acts of either just being cheerful or cannot be bothered and pretend that everything is alright.

It is at the core of all humans to seek a joyful life. Commonly, in youths these days, to fill up that void of joy, some end up engaging in activities like overly pursuing a “perfect” life on social media, making jokes out of anyone/anything, and some even to the extent of consuming drugs. These acts, only get them high, which is temporary and very soon reopens that void and loneliness once again as the external stimulus fades away. It is also at the core of humans to seek an exciting life, and very often youths may end up engaging in activities like high-risk adventures or challenges just to be the “popular and daring” one among their peers, or even testing the systems and rules. These acts are thrilling but also temporary, which leaves them in a bored and unfulfilled state once the thrill weans of.

Back in 2018, I would have considered myself as a successful trainer who had earned the confidence and trust of the many teachers who have engaged my services, constantly being able to conceive new ideas to design programs and create breakthroughs or achievements. However, in reality, I was feeling empty and did not feel the sense of fulfilment. Teachers, colleagues, and friends around me were celebrating and acknowledging my achievements and success, but I was feeling disconnected and empty. I felt that there was something that was “missing”, yet I could not articulate it. This experience spiral downwards and I went through a point of “nobody understands me” and I questioned my own ability to walk the talk as a trainer. I even contemplated leaving the training industry. Fortunately, my coach kept me practicing and living the foundational concepts of JEM. That allowed me to embrace my capabilities of creating a safe space for people to open up and eventually developing their mindset and resilience. I also started acknowledging and recognising my capabilities of supporting youths to rediscover their ownership of life and be driven to create their desired results. After attending Tony Robbin’s Unleash The Power Within in 2019, I discovered and came to a realisation that the hurt, worries and sadness were the causes of my emptiness, though on the surface I was excelling as a trainer. The sense of fulfilment was missing, and it affected my ability to acknowledge my achievements too. I felt like I could do so much more, but I was not doing so. I felt like I could guild so many more people out of their darkness, but I was restricted by my full-time career. I knew clearly that there were many more youths struggling or even parents who were struggling to help their child, yet I have not be able to reach out to them.

Finally in Sep 2019, I made the scary choice of taking a break from being a full-time leadership and character development trainer to start advocating a JEM wayoflife. The intention is to outreach to more youths who are struggling and have the desire for greater understanding of self and wanting to help themselves. I took the scary step so that I can work with parents to support them in figuring their unique way of connecting with their child. My personal stand is that everyone deserves to live a joyful and exciting way of life that is moving towards their desired quality of life. However, due to societal pressure and influences from social media, many are distracted and their attainment towards a JEM wayolife is inhibited. With JEM wayoflife, I advocate for “everyone to believe in ourselves and strive for what is important; because we are good enough, we can and we care.”

I am grateful to have been able to earn the trust from the youths, build enough relationship for them to open up to me about their struggles and feelings, and guide them out of the darkness. I am grateful of my many success stories that reminds me of my capabilities and abilities in developing the mental resilience and self-concept of individuals.

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